Mastering Māori Etiquette in Real Estate

Denese Konowe

Kia ora, and welcome back to Kiwi Real Estate, Inside Out! I'm Denese Konowe, joined by Dr Lee—yes, that's Dr Lee Konowe, The Boss in the Bronx and our resident accent chain-breaker. Today, we are diving into something absolutely fundamental for any agent who wants to really thrive in Aotearoa: Māori etiquette. I can't tell you how many times we've seen that agents who genuinely respect and understand Māori customs forge stronger, more authentic client relationships. It's actually become something clients notice, not just a checkbox anymore.

Dr Lee Konowe

Absolutely, Denese. And it's not just about ticking the cultural sensitivity box or, you know, doing what HR tells you during onboarding. There's a real shift right across the real estate industry. Awareness of Māori culture, it's, well, it's now expected in negotiation rooms, especially as more clients and vendors want to see agents who walk the talk with respect. It goes deeper than just learning the pronunciation of local place names, though that's a start.

Denese Konowe

Yeah, let me just share this—first time I did a pōwhiri, I was honestly nervous, like more nervous than going for a million-dollar listing with three competitors in the room. I had no idea what was happening, everyone just seemed to move in sync, and there I was, worried I'd do something embarrassing. Our whole group waited outside the marae, got called on by a karanga, and I remember desperately trying to look like I knew what I was doing—just quietly following the locals. But what struck me was how everyone treated the entire process, and us as guests, with such dignity and warmth. It changed the way I approached not just Māori clients, but anyone from any background—it's all about being present and open, not about faking it.

Dr Lee Konowe

It is. And I love that this isn't just a trend—industry bodies are officially asking us to up our game. Culturally aware agents are building the sort of reputations that bring in long-term clients. It doesn’t happen by accident. That’s kind of what we’re unpacking today: what does it actually mean to live and breathe Māori etiquette in everyday Kiwi real estate?

Dr Lee Konowe

So, let's bring it back to the nitty gritty—tikanga. Tikanga basically means the right way of doing things according to Māori custom. It’s not just for the marae, it pops up at open homes, auctions, you name it. Take, for example, the way we greet people. Mihi—sometimes just a well-delivered "kia ora"—can break the ice, but the hongi, the nose press, that’s much more profound. You don’t just jump into it lightly. And then there’s koha, which is the custom of bringing a gift or offering, usually after a formal welcome. In real estate, showing up on someone’s property or community hui—you can’t just rock up empty-handed, not here.

Denese Konowe

Yeah, and honestly, there are so many little pitfalls! I mean, how many open homes have we seen where someone leaves their hat on the kitchen bench or sits on a display table? For Māori, hats and anything associated with the head are tapu—sacred. Furniture used for food is noa—so the mixing of those can actually be offensive, even if you’re not meaning any harm. Or people reaching out to do a hongi without being invited, thinking it's just a quirky local greeting, when it's actually really intimate.

Dr Lee Konowe

I remember that story last year—agent in Whangarei, was it? She got a major listing because at the pre-auction, she didn’t just mumble through a generic welcome. She’d taken the time to learn how the local iwi led proceedings, acknowledged the whenua, and—here’s the clincher—she waited, let the kaumātua guide the hongi, gave her humble koha, and respected every pause in the ceremony. Word got around. Next thing she’s the go-to agent for that community. And the flip side: another agent tried to fast-forward through the process, didn’t remove his shoes at the marae, and, well, let’s just say he’s remembered for all the wrong reasons.

Denese Konowe

Honest mistakes happen, but slowing down and following cues makes a world of difference. If you’re unsure, just ask. Even that is appreciated! There’s a proverb—ehara te tono āwhina te haumate, he kaha kē—asking for help is not a weakness, it’s strength. That goes for every custom, from greeting to gift-giving to, you know, knowing when not to step over someone’s legs or interrupt a whaikōrero. These "little" guidelines build mutual respect.

Denese Konowe

Right, so how do you actually weave all this into your daily practice as an agent, not just at special events? For me, it starts simple—before any client meeting, I check if there are iwi or family connections to acknowledge. Making the effort to pronounce people’s names and marae correctly, using greetings like "tēnā koe" for one person, or "tēnā koutou" for a group, it means a lot—even if my accent is a bit... well, American-Kiwi.

Dr Lee Konowe

Nah, that’s spot on. Language basics are like the foundation. But I’d argue it goes deeper—when you’re at a listing presentation, or a settlement, repeating the humble protocols: shoes off if it’s expected, following seating arrangements especially if there’s a kaumātua in the room, even how you hand over keys (with both hands). The impact is huge. There are agencies known for doing this consistently, and word travels—reputation, referrals... it’s all connected. Sometimes I’ll even see clients come back years later because their experience felt right, not transactional. And honestly, Denese, some e-Agent CPD sessions have had the best debates about whether those “little” gestures are enough.

Denese Konowe

Yeah! I remember that session last winter—one salesperson said, "Does it even matter if I just sprinkle in a 'kia ora' here and there?" And the answer was, well, it matters more than you think, especially if it’s genuine. But you can tell when someone’s just ticking the box. We had one standout agent from Rotorua—he not only used basic te reo but committed to regular workshops and connected with his local marae. His repeat business has doubled, purely from trust built through authenticity.

Dr Lee Konowe

But, and here’s the counterpoint, sometimes it’s those ongoing, consistent behaviours, not just the big gestures, that actually seal the deal. The gestures are entry points, but building trust? That requires sticking with it, not dropping things because they’re inconvenient. We had a debate about this—should agents prioritise nailing a full pepeha or focus on ongoing learning and presence? I lean towards the latter, honestly.

Denese Konowe

I might be more optimistic, Lee. Even a small, sincere effort is contagious. So start with the basics, but never stop learning. Everyone’s at their own place on this journey, but clients know when you’re giving it a real go.

Dr Lee Konowe

If you’re keen to actually action this—not just talk about it—I’d say start by mapping out a simple Māori etiquette plan tailored for your client base. You can jot down the stage of a sales process—first meetings, listing presentations, contract signings—and decide which customs fit where. Like, when do you offer a mihi, when do you bring a koha, when is it time to use te reo? Keep it personal, but consistent.

Denese Konowe

Workshops make all the difference, too. I’m a big believer in practical immersion—not just online tutorials, but getting in with a community class, or even an agency-focused te reo Māori workshop. When you practice language basics, hongi protocols, or powhiri steps in a safe learning environment, you build real confidence. And it does show.

Dr Lee Konowe

And don’t just go it alone. Building an ongoing relationship with your local marae, kura, or a trusted cultural advisor? That’s authentic, keeps you up to date, and helps you check the evolving customs. Because, I mean, tikanga isn’t static. If you’re not sure, check in, ask respectfully. Even experienced agents still need to adapt—new marae, new iwi, sometimes new protocols as times change. Staying genuine? That’s what truly stands out.

Denese Konowe

And if you mess up—hey, apologize and do better next time. It’s a journey, not a destination! Clients respect the effort and the transparency.

Denese Konowe

So, you’ve made a plan, you’ve started learning, now how do you know if you’re getting it right? It's not about ticking off a checklist but about tracking your progress. I tell agents: set a goal, like mastering a few key te reo phrases, greeting every client with proper protocol, or attending a cultural event each quarter. Don’t overcomplicate it—just measure something that means growth for you.

Dr Lee Konowe

And don't forget to actively seek feedback. Ask your Māori clients, or even your cultural advisors, how your approach lands. Is it working, or does something need adjusting? I mean, you’d ask for feedback on a listing presentation or a blog post — why not for your cultural practice? Speaking of blogging, as we discussed in a recent episode, being open about your learning journey, sharing cultural insights in your client updates or social media, it all reinforces authenticity—and sometimes you pick up tips you didn’t expect.

Denese Konowe

That’s right. And this isn’t a one-and-done thing. Stay curious—subscribe to cultural updates, check what local iwi are sharing online, keep going to workshops, and keep those conversations alive. The best agents keep deepening their understanding and don’t get complacent. Māori etiquette is living, just like the traditions we talked about. Respecting the journey, not just the destination—that’s the real win.

Dr Lee Konowe

Couldn’t have said it better, Denese. All right—let’s wrap. Thanks to everyone tuning in. Keep asking questions and, above all, stay genuine. Next episode, maybe we unpack digital etiquette, or maybe the wild world of letterbox drops. Denese, always a pleasure.

Denese Konowe

Thanks, Lee! Take care, everyone—ka kite, and talk soon!